Video games are back! And so is Zachary! Nostalgia is unleashed upon the panel like a wistful genie from a wistful bottle as Stephen relates his trip through the very first episode of Disembodied Voices, reminding everyone that they have come a long way and that Dragon Age is better than Mass Effect. Less sentimental is hell, but that’s where Cameron has been living for weeks now. Diablo III has its claws in the poor fellow, and he’s dragging his comrades down with him. Zachary can’t bother with demon duty as his Vita (AKA NGP) needs tending, mostly because of his favorite title Ys Every Game in the Series. Bryan ditches the show early, unfortunately, leaving Stephen to ramble on about games that nobody else really cares about and Cameron to make a lazy mess of the ending. Some things never change.
Having broken his foot in a pet sitting accident (no pets were injured in the sitting of them), Stephen can no longer run from the accusation of being a hipster, no thanks to old man Papa John’s failure to be up front about goat cheese toppings and gluten-free crust on Twitter. Cameron’s starkly opposite dietary habits prompt him to defend the process of becoming willfully intoxicated (AKA Zachary’s natural state), which may explain his opinions on the Hobbit films. Bryan is bridging the gap between bickering dunderheads by expounding upon the fascinating world of accounts receivable. Yes sir, this is a fine episode of Disembodied Voices, everyone’s favorite podcast about… um…. something or other.
Zachary becomes the Lord of All Goats this week. In other news, Stephen and Bryan finally have a hearth to hearth about Hearthstone after the rest of the DV Cast harshly rejects their heist-that-isn’t-a-heist to hook a computer into a separate room. To be fair, Cameron is too busy preparing for Titanfalls to pay much heed to the dreams and aspirations of anyone else, let alone Blizzard and its continuing struggle to make Diablo III reach its demonic potential. Speaking of brand new releases for today’s generation of gamers, Project Snowblind blindsided Stephen with a revolutionary idea that first-person shooters will look to for eons to come: level design. These are exciting times, folks, and you get to spend them with Disembodied Voices!
Panelist Cameron Nutter is no longer voiced by David Hayter, which wouldn’t be so bad if Disembodied Voices didn’t sell out and hire Tara Strong for the role of Bryan. All of these voice actor woes make the iffy changes of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes seem like the smallest of potatoes, despite the fact that it facilitates an enormous conversation rife with controversy, conspiracy, and some other enticingly alliterate word. Less infamous and yet vastly more InFamous is PS4 blockbuster InFamous: Second Son, winning over Zachary’s embittered anti-Cole mindset. All of this cutting edge technology puts Stephen in the mood to play Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (BLAST PROCESSING) and makes Bryan want to play Hearthstone (because everything makes Bryan want to play Hearthstone). Crazy Taxi is also yelled about, so good on that.
Zachary may have lost his job, but one thing he will never lose is the will to Dark Souls. He leads the group in discussion about this transcendent experience and its uncanny ability to cause those who gaze upon its ebony night-colored glory to weep with tears of despair, and of joy, and of fury. Cameron’s crying days are over, however, as is his fanatic loyalty to My Little Pony, which spawns the second most in-depth conversation of this particular episode. While emotions are high, why not remember Remember Me, a game that everyone is yelling about and yet nobody really knows what to think? At least the DV Cast understands Titanfall, even if it’s accidentally insulted it a lot without being offered proper defense or even a lousy trial. Speaking of subjects relevant to Cameron, you don’t want to miss brand new segment Cameron’s News Alert, during which Cameron alerts us of news relevant to him! Afterwards, um… Waluigi happens. Or something.
You may remember the long-harbored Disembodied Voices contention that surfaces once in a blue moon, but this time Cameron has stolen the entire stash for himself and is throwing it at Bryan! And who can blame him? Constructing bridges in the self-explanatory Bridge Constructor and watching hundreds of people perish because of your own uncontrollable hubris would put anyone in a foul mood, as would the stinky final boss from Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, which drove Stephen and Bryan bananas. Actually, Zachary’s had a rough time as well with the trying trials of Dark Souls, even though the experience has ultimately made him a wiser, stronger, happier person. It’s a good thing RPGs like Bravely Default, Knights of the Old Republic II, and World of Warcraft exist to calm everyone down and fill them with the inner warmth of predictable combat encounters. If you, too, take these values to heart, then please join the DV Cast in an audio adventure you will never forget for at least a day.
And don’t forget about Whales are Whales, the fun-filled network that Disembodied Voices calls home!
There was no theme for last week’s episode, which spearheaded an avant-garde low carb trend of not having a theme for every week. That’s right, The DV Cast is now free to talk about whatever the baloney they want whenever the baloney they want, and this week the ingredients are almost as numerous as that of actual baloney. Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze– king of swing, lord of banana hoards– lumbers onto the scene with Scooby-Doo comparisons out the wazoo, and the momentous monkey is joined by The Last of Us and Final Fantasy XIV. Stephen really likes both of these games, but other people such as Cameron and Bryan engage in supernatural forms of black magic known as “logic” and “reason” to find fault. If you want to hear more ignorant opinions, you ought to enjoy new segment Ignorpinions, in which the virtues and vices of Thief are blindly proclaimed with no legitimate knowledge on hand.
Even more exciting than that (if possible) is the announcement of Whales are Whales, a brand new network for shows just like Disembodied Voices. Support everyone in the DV Cast by exploring its website of wonder and finding yourself a new favorite show, why don’t you!?